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The '40 year old virgin' and Tantric Beginnings

Updated: Mar 1, 2019



Yesterday I had a beautiful Sexual Alchemy session with a new client. He was the archetype of the ‘40 year old virgin’ - one of my absolute favourites to work with!

We started with an initial discussion about what was going on for him...

  • Lack of experience

  • Heavily reliant on porn

  • Low confidence

  • Shame around sexuality, intimacy, pleasure and his desires

  • Inability to communicate fully

and what he’d like to explore and experience...

  • Lose the shame

  • Increase his confidence

  • Be able to communicate clearly and with ease

  • Learn how to be a magnificent lover

  • Step into his full power in all areas of his life

  • Get more pleasure and joy out of life generally

  • Expand his business

My intuition guided us to start with some simple and powerful techniques for getting in the body and getting present.

I was delighted to be reminded just how powerful these techniques are. It was so wonderfully refreshing for me to go back to the absolute beginning - to revisit the building blocks of intimacy and joy and pleasure.

These techniques have such massive scope and possibility. They can help you know yourself on deeper levels, to experience greater intimacy with life, to create fulfilling relationships and to even grow and expand your business!

After musing on all of this I remembered a blog post I wrote nearly 10 years ago. I dug it out, updated it a bit and re-edited it. It’s about my own ‘tantric beginnings’. It’s about how I got started on the road to self-awareness and transformation. I hope you enjoy it:

Tantric Beginnings

Something deep inside me stirred when I first heard about tantra. Something ancient, something known yet unknown. It was many years after I first heard about it that I actually started to explore what it was. I bought a couple of books, read a bit, tried to get a couple of boyfriends to try things out with me. Mostly it remained a mystery.

Morgan Freeman spoke to me

A few years after that I was at a festival and heard that someone was running a two-hour ‘Intro to Tantra’ workshop. As I meandered across the field to the tent where the workshop was being held, I noticed people running past me, quickly – lots of them. Suddenly I realised that they were all heading towards this workshop.

Two eye-opening hours later, every single person in the workshop was high on love and feeling great! I saw these people, the looks on their faces and looked at the teacher. I had one of those moments that seem unreal, like out of a film, but that has stuck with me ever since. It was as if a spotlight shone down on the teacher and I heard words whispered in my ear, ‘You will also do this work’ in a sort of Morgan Freeman voice. I was absolutely terrified and I knew right there and then that I was destined to walk a similar path.

Dancing naked in the rain

My journey through tantra, kink and other forms of conscious sexuality over the following years has been amazing, beautiful, terrifying, and truly life changing. I’ve learned to connect my spirituality to my heart and my sexuality. I’ve learned to be vulnerable, open and present. I’ve laughed, cried, shouted, bashed cushions and danced naked in the rain. I’ve seen beautiful souls travelling into the depths of their being and allowed them to see me too.

It is impossible to fully capture the essence of tantra with words alone. It is at once a mystical, spiritual path, a practical science and a way of life. Tantra teaches us tools for transformation, how to recognise ourselves as the unconditional love that we are, how to step into our powerful selves and how to experience the perceived mundane aspects of life as divine, ecstatic experiences.

The most important skill for bedroom and business

One of the most important things I’ve learned through tantra is how to be present. How to be present to what is. How to be present when things feel good and when they don’t. Most of the time we are taught how to distract ourselves rather than how to engage in the moment.

Learning to bring your awareness into every moment will help you to experience more pleasure and bliss than you ever knew possible - in every area of your life including your relationships, intimacy, sexuality and even business!

Want to explore with me?

Contact me here or email me at rebecca@self-alchemy.com and tell me what you're interested in.

I look forward to exploring with you!


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